Tips for a Happy Mother’s Day & a Worksheet for you

HERE IS THE LINK TO THE MOTHER’S DAY WORKSHEET!

Here’s my deal with this “holiday”.

Part of me just truly does not care about a Hallmark Holiday that requires planned, forced brunches and flowers, and what feels to me like a shallow, institutionalized “appreciation” of Mothers, who should be appreciated all days.

My husband and I have been together for about 12 years. We have 4 kids. I have given him the impression, from the get-go, that I am kinda too cool for Mothers Day. He was psyched and took this quite literally. And that was ok, cause I meant it.

Sorta.

So here’s the rub.

In my mind I don’t really care about this silly holiday. For real, I don’t care in my brain.

BUT sometimes Mothers Day rolls in and out and I feel a little sting, a little disappointment, a little annoyance about my husband doing, well, basically nothing on Mothers Day, at my own request!

This is not cool of me. Right? He cannot be a mind reader, and the kids also can’t “know” what the right thing to do is on their own.

If I want something specific on Mothers Day, be that a present, a card, a meal, a party, a hug, a foot rub, I should communicate this want. Not only to others, but to myself.

I wrote an email a few weeks back about managing expectations. This comes right back to it.

If your expectations are in alignment with what you communicate, and what you acknowledge in yourself, then your chances of being disappointed and resentful are drastically reduced. Wouldn’t that be nice? Less resentment and less disappointment??

My husband, and my teenagers actually, are the kinda guys who if I said, hey can you please make me breakfast tomorrow, that would make me happy? They would totally do it!

But first I would need to be honest with myself that that’s what I actually wanted. This might be hard for many of us. Many of us Mamas aren’t super good at admitting what we want and feel we deserve without a little mind trick telling us to shove it down.

Then I would need to SAY IT to those around me, or act on it myself. This might not come naturally, so we don’t do it. Then comes the disappointment.

But this is what it comes down to it:

If you don’t figure out for yourself, and then tell your partner or your kids, or take matters into your own hands, about what it is that would make you feel good tomorrow (and in general!), you might be disappointed and spend Mothers day annoyed and quietly pissed at everyone.

Instead, try cutting the game of pretending you don’t want anything, or pretending it should be a surprise, or pretending you’ll be happy with whatever they do, unless this is actually true. Just figure out what it is you want and COMMUNICATE it. Not only to your partner and/or kids, but more importantly TO YOURSELF.

This goes for tomorrow, and everyday.

I firmly believe, and know, and have seen, and have read from much wiser women than I , that if you learn to get in touch with your true desires and wants, not the desires and wants you THINK you should have, but the real ones inside you, and then you  act on them, your world and life will become a whole lot lighter, easier, and more fulfilling.

This goes for figuring out values about little things like Mother’s Day, and big things like, well, your life.

By “acting on” these values and desires you might need to tell someone what they are. Out loud.

It might feel weird. Do it anyway.

Or, by “acting out” these values you may need to do something for yourself. Make YOURSELF a special breakfast and sit in bed with it with your favorite book while you let the kids watch a movie.

It might feel weird. Do it anyway.

To help you with figuring out how you would like tomorrow to be to a happy day, HERE IS THE LINK to a document I made, fill it out on the computer or print it out.  (If you don’t have a printer, and you cant figure out how to write on it on the computer, just write down the answers on any piece of paper.) It’s super easy. This is a useful exercise to do about ALL AREAS of your life! Try it for Mamas Day !

Please don’t forget, Mamas, your job is the most very important job ON EARTH and taking care of YOU will only help take care of your babies and little ones and teens and grown kids, even better. Nourishing you nourishes them.

On that note, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to every beautiful wonderful, hard working Mama! I hope you have a day filled with JOY.

xoxoxo katia

I’m a certified, Integrated Health Coach, mother of four and personal trainer. I specialize in helping women and families find more connected, healthier & happier ways to live in this hectic modern world through personalized, down-to-earth, sustainable, environmentally conscious programs designed specifically for you. I offer tools, strategy and knowledge to realize the full nutritious power of foods, become less stressed, and feel stronger both inside and out. You will learn to successfully habit shift while given accountability, support and information to form a healthier lifestyle that serves you, others and the world. Programs range in length starting at 4 months. Contact me!

katia hermanMay 9, 2020